Those most frequent questions I get asked when I tell someone about Mr.C. I never know how to answer but usually just say something along the lines of "We just do."
Living 3,400km apart ain't easy and it takes a lot of work, commitment but it is worth it because HE is worth it. I never doubted in my heart that it wouldn't work out. Although it's been longer than we first anticipated, we've made it work and we've stuck by each others sides.
Since I like to now call myself a Long Distance Pro, here are some thoughts on how to make it work!
Talk Often but Not Excessively
You don't need to talk on the phone for hours each night. We don't. We rarely talk through the day except for a text message here or there as we both work. We do, however, make an effort to talk in the evening, no matter what our plans are. Skype is basically the best invention and we use it often but some nights it will just be a quick 2 minute phone call to see how our days were.
Keeping the conversations present that most non long distance relationships have is important. Ask how their day was, how they are feeling, what they are making for dinner. Continue to share your everyday happenings! It may seem silly but it helps make you feel closer physically than you actually are.
Dream Together
When in a long distance relationship, the future is always exciting - whether it be 3 months away when you get a visit, or 2 years away when you are back together for good. Talking about the future and what life will look like when Mr. C comes home makes me so excited and I think (hope? ha!) it makes him as equally excited. It sends me a gentle remind that he will be home before I know it.
Trust
Plain and simple, if you don't trust your man, it ain't gonna work out in a long distance relationship (or non long distance relationship). You need to grant each other the freedom to carry on with your own life and continue to have fun.
Live your Life
You can't put your life on hold or mope around at home. Continue to life your life. Hang out with friends, travel, visit family often, start some new hobbies. You need to maintain interests and friendships while you are apart as it will be those things that help you through the days you feel blah.
Stay Connected with Their Family
This may be weird to some and it depends on the relationship you have with his/her family prior to your long distance begins. For me, I was fairly close with his family before he left. It has been so nice to keep in touch with them (they live a few cities over from me). Every few months or so, they will invite me over for dinner and we catch up. Unfortunately, this doesn't work on the flip side with Mr. C and my family as my family doesn't live close to him. Where possible, keep those connections open!
Believe me, you can do it. Have faith in your relationship, stay positive and think of the happy ending!
That is really great advice! Hope you two get to visit each other soon!
ReplyDeleteYou must be so strong to be able to do long-distance. And you're definitely right about trust being important!
ReplyDeleteYou're lucky to have such a good relationship with his family. Not everyone gets that.
Great advice! I dated someone long distance and it was so tough. I think if you can get through that then you are meant to be!
ReplyDeletetrust is so important to making a long distance relationship, and i love your tips about keeping the conversation relevant ask them about what same seem mundane but it is just knowing how their day was what they made for dinner that brings you together
ReplyDeleteI love this post! My husband and I were long(ish) distance for about a year before we got engaged. (We were only two and a half hours away from each other, but it's still quite a bit different from being able to see each other mostly every day.) Talking on the phone, and sending lots of texts definitely kept us close. Hopefully you two will get to see each other in person soon!
ReplyDeleteWell said! Someday I'll write about our love story but we went through what you're going through to an extent. I met my to-be-hubby while in college - my school wasn't where he was, although it was not terribly far, couple of hours.
ReplyDeleteBut it was a new relationship and we wanted to see each other as much as possible. The thing is, we got used to it. We stuck it out, we made it work. And it wasn't unbearable or even unenjoyable. I missed him and he missed me, but we trusted one another, we spoke daily, and lived our lives. People would often comment on how they just couldn't do that... but it was just us, how we worked. And we were fine. :)
I will admit, once I returned home from school and the possibility of seeing each other daily was there, I remember thinking, this IS how it should be. But, I didn't know what I was missing when I was missing it and we both grew and did the things we needed to until we were there!
Hoping the best for you both today :)
Kate
Really great advice! My husband and I were long distance for our first 5 years of dating. Even when he wasn't in the states during the hockey season, he was still a 3 hour drive in the summer. When we finally moved in together for the last 3 years, it made the long distance worth it. Wishing you guys nothing but the best :)
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